Common Parenting Traps for Tweens & Teens with ADHD
It’s no secret that raising a tween or teen with ADHD is hard. There’s a lot to balance for yourself as a parent, and you’re working on raising someone who is independent.
In my work as a child psychologist in San Diego as well as a parent coach for parents of teens with ADHD, I help parents navigate these challenges.
Based on my work with families, these are some of the most common traps I see parents falling into with their teens:
Not Being Flexible in Your Parenting Style
Just last week during one of my group coaching calls for parents of teens with ADHD, we were talking about how difficult it is to know how much leeway you should be giving your tween or teen with ADHD.
The thing about this question (that I get a lot) is that you need to be flexible with how you parent your tween with ADHD. There are going to be times where you need to support them more, and then there are going to be times where they can be more independent.
Being able to change how much independence you give them depending on the situation is what will help you grow.
Not Picking Your Battles
I get it that it can be super hard to not lean into an argument or become upset when your teen does something that you aren’t happy with. At the same time, this can also lead to more and more fights and arguments, leaving you exhausted.
One of the first things I talk about in my course for parents of teens with ADHD is how to choose your battles effectively so that you have better communication with your teen.
This starts with choosing a non-negotiable rule in your household. A non-negotiable rule is something that you will never be okay with happening in your house.
By choosing a non-negotiable, you’re then able to see the things that you can be more flexible with and pick your battles on.
Picking a non-negotiable can be really difficult and if you need more support, it’s something I discuss with parents in my group coaching program.
Not Giving Yourself Enough Credit
It can be really easy to feel like you aren’t doing enough as a parent of a tween or teen with ADHD.
At the same time, you are putting in so much effort to support your tween or teen with ADHD and that effort can sometimes feel underappreciated.
When you feel like you aren’t doing enough, remind yourself that you are doing the best that you can at this moment.
Being the parent of a teen with ADHD doesn’t always mean that the efforts you’re putting in will make immediate results, but over time, your hard work will pay off.