How To Feel Less Overwhelmed As a Parent with ADHD
Every week, I get asked by parents if I know of any books or resources for parents of kids with ADHD, who ALSO have ADHD themselves. I haven’t found a book yet that addresses this question. If you know of one, please let me know.
What I do know is that a lot of moms start to notice they may have ADHD after their child was diagnosed with ADHD.
And the struggle of managing your child’s schedule, appointments, and behavior is all too much when you’re trying to stay afloat yourself.
My friend Amy (aka Activated ADHD Mama on IG) recently gave a free Masterclass about managing your household so that you don’t feel like you’re failing at home. Amy is the creator of Master the Mundane, a course and community for moms with ADHD, and Amy shares her personal and professional tips as an ADHDer in a family of kids and a husband with ADHD.
I took away several important things from her Masterclass and wanted to share them with you.
One of the first and most important ones is to remember that some of the things that may be hard for you are because of your executive functioning, and not a reflection on you as a person or any “faults” or “shortcomings” you have.
Executive functions are all of the pieces of ADHD that can make it hard for you to do something. They include task initiation, emotional regulation, working memory, organization, and prioritization. And understanding how your executive functioning impacts your ability to manage your household is one of the first steps to finding solutions.
If you’re asking me, those can all be really hard when you’re a mom trying to manage yourself, your kids, and the household.
When I work with parents of kids with ADHD, I remind parents that their child often isn’t trying to not listen or do something on purpose. It’s their executive functioning skills that are making it harder for them to follow-through on tasks.
As a parent, it’s important that you do the same for you.
Another key takeaway I learned from Amy is the power of checking in with yourself in the morning and adjusting your expectations for yourself accordingly. Amy shared that she has moms in her community do this to help them find their daily rhythm.
If you have a day where you wake up and you can tell that your ADHD symptoms are more challenging and it’s a low energy day, it might be time to adjust your schedule, to-do list and expectations for yourself.
Similarly, if you wake up and have a high energy day, it may be a good idea to try and see if you can add a task that is harder for you to do on a low energy day.
Amy walks you through how to do this in her Master the Mundane course, and her small group coaching provides the accountability and support for you to feel like you can actually implement these skills.
I’ve already started using this check-in in the morning to try and understand how I can work with my ADHD rather than against it.
I know that it can be so difficult to manage your day-to-day life when you have ADHD, and when you have a family, it only makes it harder. I hope this blog helps you walk away with a few strategies that will leave you feeling more compassionate towards yourself.