How To Feel Less Overwhelmed As a Parent with ADHD

Every week, I get asked by parents if I know of any books or resources for parents of kids with ADHD, who ALSO have ADHD themselves. I haven’t found a book yet that addresses this question. If you know of one, please let me know. 

What I do know is that a lot of moms start to notice they may have ADHD after their child was diagnosed with ADHD.

And the struggle of managing your child’s schedule, appointments, and behavior is all too much when you’re trying to stay afloat yourself. 

One of the first and most important things to remember that some of the things that may be hard for you are because of your executive functioning, and not a reflection on you as a person or any “faults” or “shortcomings” you have. 

Executive functions are all of the pieces of ADHD that can make it hard for you to do something. They include task initiation, emotional regulation, working memory, organization, and prioritization. And understanding how your executive functioning impacts your ability to manage your household is one of the first steps to finding solutions.

If you’re asking me, those can all be really hard when you’re a mom trying to manage yourself, your kids, and the household. 

When I work with parents of kids with ADHD, I remind parents that their child often isn’t trying to not listen or do something on purpose. It’s their executive functioning skills that are making it harder for them to follow-through on tasks. 

As a parent, it’s important that you do the same for you.

Another key takeaway is the power of checking in with yourself in the morning and adjusting your expectations for yourself accordingly. One way to do this is to find your daily rhythm.

If you have a day where you wake up and you can tell that your ADHD symptoms are more challenging and it’s a low energy day, it might be time to adjust your schedule, to-do list and expectations for yourself. 

Similarly, if you wake up and have a high energy day, it may be a good idea to try and see if you can add a task that is harder for you to do on a low energy day.

As someone that has personal and professional experience (as a child psychologist) with ADHD, I know how hard it is to feel supported. In ADHD Parent Academy, I work with parents on strategies they can use with their ADHD kids to feel more supported and have a calmer and happier life.