How to Improve Motivation in Teens with ADHD

Motivation is something that is often a challenge with people with ADHD. Particularly for teenagers with ADHD, it can be hard to find ways for parents to help your child do things that are difficult or boring, such as homework or chores.

Why Do People with ADHD Struggle with Motivation?

People with ADHD and their struggle with motivation boils down to biology, particularly dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that makes people feel good and motivates them to do things.

For individuals with ADHD, experiences produce lower levels of dopamine in the brain, and individuals with ADHD need higher levels of stimulation to produce typical levels of dopamine.

Because of this, people with ADHD may need more support, rewards, and skills to create the same levels of motivation of someone without ADHD.

Common Pitfalls to Motivating Teens with ADHD:

Often, parents fall into a few traps when trying to motivate their teen to do something. 

1. Trying to convince their teens to do something.

When a teenager doesn’t want to do something, the more that you try to convince and argue with them to do it, the less likely they are to do the thing you want them to do. Keep reading for what to do instead.

2. Using logic or rational thinking in the moment.

During an argument when trying to convince a teen to do something difficult, trying to reason with them also likely won’t work.

3. Shaming them.

Although this one happens less often, trying to shame your teenager for not doing something often only results in lower self-esteem.

How Do You Motivate Teens with ADHD?

To motivate teens with ADHD, it takes several steps and approaches. Often times, the natural rewards or consequences that occur (e.g., failing a test after not studying) are not sufficient enough to produce motivation.

Sometimes the strategies listed below won’t show immediate changes. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do them. Instead, these tips listed below may take some time for you to see the positive changes. 

1. Give positive attention to your teen’s ideas about changing. 

To have more positive interactions with your teenager, it’s important to emphasize the times they are expressing a desire to change the way things are right now.

Emphasizing change talk is a helpful strategy often utilized in motivational interviewing.

A teenager might express subtle signs and make comments that they are considering changing things such as, “I might be able to do that” or when they recognize the advantages of change.

When talking with your teenager, give more attention and ask more follow-up questions about ideas and their comments around change.

2. Give minimal attention to counterproductive ideas.

Teenagers may express counterproductive ideas about changing in several ways.

For example, they may outwardly express disinterest “I’ve tried that before” or show ambivalence around changing things.

When teenagers express either of these ideas, it can be helpful to shift your focus back towards their ideas of changing by saying something like, “What are some things you want to be different right now?”

3. Emphasize their autonomy.

Giving your teenagers choice and control can help reduce their resistance around beginning something.

When a teenager does express they’re not interested or motivated to do something, letting them know that it really is their choice if they do or don’t do something can lead the conversation towards change. 

4. Have them plan out their goals.

Your teenager may need some help learning how to make and set their own goals.

While it is helpful for you to sit down with them and help them plan out applying to college, it’s also important that you help them learn how to do this themselves.

One way that can happen is if you are to ask them open-ended questions when helping them plan out their goals. For example, asking them “What steps will you need to take to reach this goal?”

These small changes over time in the ways you’re interacting with your teenager can make big changes.

Even if you don’t see the immediate rewards with them, over time your interactions will have less conflict and you’ll find greater connection with your teenager.

This February 2023, I’ll be having a group program for parents of teenagers with ADHD. In the group, you’ll learn more about putting these skills into action.