How to Support Your Teen with ADHD in the College Admission Process

This is a guest blog by Sara Purviance at the Mindset College Collective.

Whether you have a 9th grader or a senior, there’s a lot you can start to do now to set your teen up for success in their college admission process, and even more importantly, in the transition to life after high school.

It might seem unfathomable that your child will be living fairly independently in a few short years, so here are our best tips for making the process low-stress.

It’s key to approach college admission and the launch to what’s next in a healthy way; this promotes growth, confidence, and executive functioning skills for your teen with ADHD. 

Make it “real” by visiting college campuses and exploring programs in their interest areas.

Students with ADHD often love to research colleges and explore programs deeply, but they often need help making it feel real and relevant to them, not just a hypothetical and faraway concept.

You can help dip their toes into their college exploration by scheduling a couple low-stakes college tours at colleges near you (or where you are already traveling to see family).

You can also help them identify some links to what they might want to study based on what they already love. Try not to over-suggest, and listen to what they have to say.

Help your teen gain confidence by exploring colleges with a range of selectivity, where they will be strong candidates.

The top thirty colleges in the U.S. that are household names are usually in the news because of their ever-increasing selectivity.

Even if your child might compete in the top tier of selectivity, make sure you promote balance to their college list and help them visit, explore, and get excited about many colleges where they are likely to gain admission. In many communities there is a lot of stress around the admission process, so make sure you are promoting a healthy mindset at home.

Your teen cares more than you think about your vision of success for them, and teens with ADHD in particular can start to disengage when they don’t feel successful or validated by an experience.

Don't focus too much on college. 

This might seem counterintuitive, but make sure you are limiting the talk about college, particularly when you feel pushback from your teen. Find ways to connect and spend quality time with them, enjoying your last years with them living under your roof.

Some families have found balance with limiting college talk with boundaries decided on together, like only talking about it on Sunday evenings for a maximum of one hour. That way all parties can know what’s coming.

Encourage life-skill building and executive functioning.

Let’s be honest, it’s often just easier to do life skills things for our kids, particularly for kids with ADHD who struggle with these areas. It won’t always be pretty and they will make mistakes, but gradually give your child ownership over things they will need to do when they live independently.

Laundry, taking a car to be serviced, grocery shopping, and making their own doctor’s appointments are all things they should know how to do well before they move out of the house.

Encourage them to take ownership of advocating for themselves at school. 

As parents of children with ADHD we have had to advocate (hard, in some cases) for our student with ADHD. We’ve made the appointments, called the teachers and counselors, and advocated for the accommodations they need.

As they move through high school, we need to transition them to take ownership of this advocacy. Sometimes they will need parents to coach them on how to approach a conversation, and sometimes it won’t go well (and we might have to do some follow up work), but it’s important for them to become their own best advocate.

Remember: the more we take over the less they will do for themselves (and the less confidence they will have in themselves, too).

Help students create an organizational system for researching and applying to colleges.

Teens with ADHD often struggle with long-term planning, and the college admission process is essentially a long-term project students have to take from research and planning stages to the execution of their applications and final decision-making.

They often need help creating a planning system and a way to track their progress since their are so many moving pieces.

The college admission process can make heads swim and overwhelm get the best of us, which is why I’ve partnered with Sara Purviance, the creator of the Mindset College Planner.

This organizational system is ideal for students with ADHD because it both organizes their research and list through a color-coded Google Spreadsheet template, and promotes thoughtful and thorough reflection through a PDF planner (that is a cross between organizational planning and self-reflection journaling).

We hope these tips promote growth, joy, and a stronger connection between you and your teen as you both prepare for a successful college admission process and launch into adulthood.

Remember: you are the best parent for your child.