Increasing Independence in Tweens & Teens with ADHD

For many tweens & teens with ADHD, they are striving for more independence as most teens are during this time.

They want to start to do more things on their own and rely less on their parents and caregivers as they grow older.

As a parent of a tween or teen with ADHD, you also want them to grow and become more independent, yet at the same time, you can see how they struggle with “basic” tasks like

• chores,

• hygiene,

• and keeping their room clean.

It can be tough to know how to build a child’s independence when you also see them struggling with managing some of the tasks already on their plate.

In this blog, I’ll go over some of the reasons why tweens and teens with ADHD may struggle with autonomy as well as strategies to support them.

If you want more support on how to raise an independent tween or teen with ADHD, join my new course, Raising Independent ADHD Teens.

Why do tweens & teens with ADHD struggle with increased autonomy?

Many of the executive functioning skills that are impacted by ADHD come into play when trying to increase independence.

Teens with ADHD may struggle to organize their tasks, manage their time, and regulate their emotions, all of which can impact their ability to function independently.

These are also impacted by executive functioning skills such as

• task initiation,

• organization and planning,

• working memory,

• and self-awareness.

Even with the challenges around ADHD, you can support your teen in becoming more independent.

Here are three tips to increase independence in your tween or teen:

1. Know that independence will fluctuate and require different levels of monitoring and support by you as a parent over time.

This is where so many parents get stuck.

When they see that their teen is not being independent in certain tasks, they may struggle with knowing how to respond and adopt an all-or-nothing approach.

In contrast to this way of responding, I believe that parents can be most effective when their support changes in response to how their teen is doing at the moment.

If your teen is needing more support, offer them some but then draw back once they are showing that they are able to maintain this level of independence.

2. Help your teen learn self-regulation strategies.

For teens, learning self-regulation strategies so that they can manage their emotions and time is very important. These skills will help set them up for becoming independent adults.

As a parent, it can be really tough to be the one to teach your teen these skills, depending on what your relationship is like with your teen.

Sometimes, teens do better with learning skills from someone else.

• For example, seeking support from a coach or a therapist may be beneficial.

My Raising Independent ADHD Teens bonus course for teens also includes self-regulation strategies that teens can learn at their own pace.

3. Start off small with increasing independence.

When you want to raise a teen who is independent, it can be easy to try and jump in immediately by giving them independence in many different areas.

Instead, focus on building up small pieces of independence over time so that they can feel supported and also gain confidence in their ability to manage new things.
These changes take time to follow through with and for your teen to learn.

Even if you don’t see immediate progress, over time, they’ll start to gain more experience with being independent.

If you want to learn more strategies to raise an independent ADHD teen, I invite you to join my self-study course, Raising Independent ADHD Teens.

It includes a course for parents AND a bonus course for your teen.