Consistency as a Parent with ADHD
Staying consistent can be a challenge for anyone, but it can be especially difficult for those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that can affect a person's ability to focus, control impulses, and regulate their behavior.
If you have ADHD, you may have
trouble sticking to routines,
following through on tasks,
and meeting deadlines.
If you also have a child with ADHD, it can be hard because:
You have to manage more than one schedule
You know your child needs and thrives on structure
Remembering your child’s appointments and services
At the same time, you know that consistency is an important part of helping you and your child thrive with ADHD.
Here’s how you can be more consistent as a parent with ADHD.
Set realistic expectations for yourself
One of the first places I start with parents is by having them reimagine what being consistent looks like.
Many courses and books on parenting kids with ADHD discuss creating elaborate routine charts and reward systems to support your child.
While I think that these can certainly be helpful, it’s important to know that they can also cause more stress for parents and set you up for failure.
To support your child, you don’t have to do an elaborate routine or reward system and you can still see progress.
Focus your consistency on one part of the day
Rather than being consistent with a morning, afterschool, and evening bedtime, think about one time of the day when it would be best for you to add some structure and then start small.
For example, start with setting a consistent habit of having your child get ready for bed at 8 pm each night.
If it is hard for you to stick to a consistent time, stacking activities is still helpful.
For example, make a new habit of having your child put their backpack by the door when they get home.
You can model this by also putting your keys or purse where they belong.
Create consistency through a family calendar
When you have kids or partners that help with caregiving, it can be difficult to stay on top of all of the routines and appointments.
One strategy for maintaining consistency and structure is to have a shared family calendar that everyone has access to so that they can add upcoming events.
I particularly like using an online calendar, such as Google Calendar that can be shared with everyone in the family so that multiple people can access and edit it as needed.
Plus, most people remember to carry their phone with them in most places to write down their appointments rather than having to remember a paper planner to write things down.
Automate as much as possible
When you have an online calendar system set up, it can also be helpful to automate events and reminders through the system.
For example, you can create a recurring reminder in Google Calendar to refill prescriptions at a certain time each month.
This will reduce the mental load of having to remember the date to refill the prescription since your calendar will automatically remind you.
Remember, the consistency as a parent with ADHD takes time and practice.
It's okay to make mistakes and have setbacks.
When you do notice you’re being inconsistent, notice it and make a plan for something you can change over the next week to become more consistent.