Regulating Your Own Emotions as an ADHD Parent
If you're a parent with ADHD, you may have noticed that your emotions can sometimes feel like a roller coaster. You might feel excited and energized one moment, and then frustrated and overwhelmed the next.
This can be especially challenging when you're trying to be the best parent you can be, and you want to be able to regulate your emotions in order to be more present and supportive of your children.
Even if your emotions are more difficult to manage, there are strategies that can help.
Here are some tips on how to manage your emotions when you’re dysregulated.
Notice your thoughts at the moment
The next time that you are feeling dysregulated by your child’s behavior, pay attention to your thoughts.
Many parents notice that they start having more negative thoughts about themselves or their children when they are struggling to regulate their emotions.
When we are in a very emotional state, our thoughts feel like they are facts can lead to further emotional challenges.
Separate yourself from your thoughts
Once you have practiced noticing your thoughts, then you can practice creating some distance from your thoughts.
When your child is having a meltdown, you may not be able to physically separate yourself from the meltdown; however, creating distance from your thoughts at the moment can help provide some relief.
Here’s how you can create some distance:
Notice your thought at the moment by acknowledging it.
(“My child always has meltdowns”)
Separate yourself from the thought by labeling it as a thought.
(“I’m having the thought that my child always has meltdowns”)
Offer yourself compassion in these moments
To be compassionate towards yourself, acknowledge that it is difficult to feel this way and that other parents have experienced this before.
When we feel alone, we tend to become more critical of ourselves and our kids.
One of the most helpful things you can do is to acknowledge that it is difficult to feel this way rather than trying to fight against your thoughts.
Imagine yourself coping effectively
At another time when you are regulated, try to imagine yourself coping with your child’s emotional dysregulation in a positive way.
Imagine what that would look like for you at the moment and how you could respond effectively.
You can’t change what your child will do at the moment, but you can change how you will handle it.
Being able to imagine yourself coping positively will increase your confidence for the next time you are faced with emotional dysregulation.
Parenting can be a rewarding but challenging journey, especially for those with ADHD.
By taking care of yourself and seeking support when you need it, you can better regulate your emotions and be the best parent you can be.